What Makes Kids Happy?
My youngest child gave me a wonderful surprise this weekend. I took her with me to the driving range to hit some golf balls. It’s one of those discount ranges with the machines that feed the balls into a plastic bucket and sturdy mats covered with plastic grass for a hitting surface.
It’s not exactly the natural grass country club environment most players prefer, but it certainly matched the quality of my game and her 8-year-old expectations. Midway through our practice, I looked over at the crabgrass and clover covered par-3 course the driving range featured and thought I’d take my budding Annika Sorenstam out for her first round of “real” golf.
It was hot (I live in Georgia) and about 5 holes in, my girl started complaining about the heat, her hunger and how she was tired. That was understandable, so I let her walk with me as I played my way back to the clubhouse. That deal, and a soda got her smiling again and she gladly joined me.
I thought I had managed to survive the round and hoped she would return again. She was tired and I feared I’d overdone it. Then she said this: “This was my third best day ever.” I asked her what her other best days were and she said her birthdays were first, Christmases were second and golf days with Dad were third. I had managed to crack the top three and placed right behind Santa with a bucket of range balls and 5 holes of golf. This “dad” thing was easy. Then I got to thinking what the other competition was.
What golf managed to beat was several trips to the beach, trips to theme parks, a Nintendo Wii and DS, and countless other toys, camps, clothes and movies. Here’s the news flash my brain knew, but just needed to hear one more time:
You Don’t Need to Spend A Lot (or sometimes even any) Money to Make Your Kids Happy
So I decided to come up with a list of things my kids enjoy. I’m not a licensed therapist, a “guru” of any kind, but I do have three kids now and here’s what we’ve done that makes them happy:
- Golf – obviously this does take a little money, but you might be surprised how little. A discount driving range and course did wonders.
- Fishing – I’m talking earthworms and the Zebco rod and reel from Wal-Mart. Or even from a garage sale.
- Playing Catch – Cheap ball, relatively cheap glove that last for years. I have a the stereotypical son who says “Dad, can we play catch?” and I comply as often as possible.
- Guitar – Cheap guitar and a little bit of time spent looking over chords with my oldest has seemed to work for both of us. Guitars can be purchased used, at a discount and books or chords can come cheap (ours were 50% off) or from the library.
There’s a bigger theme I’ve discovered. What makes kids happy?
Spend Time Doing Things THEY Are Interested In
That can be really cheap, but it does involve a sacrifice for the parents, especially if their interests don’t overlap with the child’s. I’ll admit to not loving baseball, but watching my son play and practicing with him has gotten me more interested. My best memories growing up were spending time with my parents doing something we both at least had some interest in.
That should be common sense, but it really isn’t. One needs to just look around at the overpriced toys kids get in lieu of time, I know I’ve purchased my share. I swear, so many of us are trying to make our kids into the next Paris Hilton. This is an area where frugality and happiness can go hand in hand if we are willing to spend some time rather than money.
I’m not saying I’ll never buy them anything again. After all, the gifts my youngest gets on Christmas and her birthday do count for something. But when I consider that her favorite gift was a $2.99 pack of Pokemon cards, I’m thinking the fact that there’s two days where we all get together and she feels special count for a lot more.
[...] at Financial Reflections is rethinking expensive gifts for children in What Makes Kids Happy?. Chris writes a touching story about taking his 8-year-old daughter out for a fun round of golf. He [...]
[...] Financial Reflections: What Makes Kids Happy?. [...]
[...] Reflections has a fantastic post about what makes children happy. A great reminder of some simple truths that our consumer-driven lifestyle might sometimes have [...]
This is so true. We can forget all to easily what it is that makes our kids happy and end up spending a fortune trying to buy their happiness. Generally, all they want is to simply spend some genuine quality time with mum & dad.
[...] What Makes Kids Happy at Financial Reflections. We so often overestimate what it is our kids want. Mostly it is to spend fun time with us. [...]
Great post. In the past I have been guilty of thinking that buying my children toys or such will make them happy, but in the end they still want more toys. However, more often than not, they just want my time to either play a board game, throw the football, or pretend to fight with lightsabers. When they grow up, they will not remember most of the toys they owned, but they will remember the good times and memories they created with you.
Tim
The Parent’s Field Guide
When we’re doing laundry we always save folding the sheets for when our daughter is around. We fold them in 1/2 and rock her in the sheets for a few seconds in each sheet. She thinks this is wonderful fun! But, she’s starting to get too heavy for me.
[...] Reflections wonders “What Makes Kids Happy?” Hint: It isn’t more [...]
What Makes Kids Happy?…
Sometimes, what makes our kids the happiest isn’t the most expensive thing, at least in terms of money. Here’s a story about a father who found a connection with his youngest child over a bucket of heavily used golf balls. The capital we expend wit…
My son’s memories make my heart bleed … because he remembers me laying on the floor building lego towns and reading comic books on the patio (it was hot, we took his matress out there to “camp”) chasing him through the water while throwing seaweed at one another … and racing hot wheels from one end of the kitchen to the other and having a chess game set up on our coffee table for days so that we could walk by and make a move and smirk a “check” to one another and letting him “cook” dinner for me … oy
Those are the kinds of things he remembers. And loves. And bless my grandchildren because he’s going to be a kickass dad when he does decide to make babies. Because he realizes that it was the time we spent together that mattered. It wasn’t the latest and greatest video game. Or the stereo in his room. Or the shoes and jeans that he begged me to buy … or anything else.
Small moments matter. Make the most of them!
<3
Nic
Great post! Thanks for the submission to my blog carnival, too.
[...] opens with What Makes Kids Happy?, saying, “How we spend (or don’t spend) money on our kids is important. What’s [...]
[...] presents What Makes Kids Happy? posted at financial reflections, saying, “What makes kids happy? It isn’t the money, [...]
[...] presents What Makes Kids Happy? posted at Financial [...]
[...] of Frugality this week. Her theme is very funny — not to be missed! Also not to be missed is What Makes Kids Happy, posted at Financial Reflections. Blindsided by a piratical Verizon bill, Hayden Tompkins at [...]
[...] FMF was kind enough to accept my entry What Makes Kids Happy as an entry and today it is in the first round of the competition. If you like Financial [...]
Definitely is the quality time you spend and not the money. I think we all get caught up and forget how much fun a kid can have just running around, using their imagination. Doing something doesn’t mean spending something.
I might have to bring my daughter out to the batting cages this spring!
[...] was kind enough to accept my entry What Makes Kids Happy as an entry and today it is in the second round of the competition. Thanks to everyone who [...]